no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
