In the future we'll all be gay
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
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