At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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