Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
