i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
