So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
