I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
