fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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