Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
