Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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