I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
