honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
