Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
