you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
