3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish my penis had a tongue
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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