Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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