That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
