When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
