I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
