Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
