uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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