girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
