Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
