yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
