do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
