if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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