The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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