I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
