No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
