this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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