Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
