yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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