I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
