On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
