almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
