Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
