i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
