you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
