I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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