saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
As shirtless as possible
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
