Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
