Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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