Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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