Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your cock deserves a montage
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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