$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
