i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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