Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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