I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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