The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
