Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
